I went to watch the movie Thappad today. It’s outstanding, well-written and made. Yada yada yada. Experts have already spoken truckloads about it. I don’t think I can add anything more. So I’ll instead write about my neighbors (a couple) in the movie hall.

They reached late. Since I was in the aisle seat I was fine letting them through. Once the movie started, they kept discussing small things. Aunty would ask the obvious and uncle would explain things to her. I am not the one to get annoyed by this behavior so I thought I’ll not shush them. When the pivotal scene in the movie happened and there was pin-drop silence in the hall, aunty blurted out, ‘isn’t her saree beautiful.’ To which uncle replied ‘we’ll get a similar one for you.’ This happened. Not making it up. I wanted to shush them this time. I had an itch to blurt something mean to them. But I resisted.

Then the interval happened. And the movie’s story progressed to another important point. Where uncle casually said ‘isn’t she stretching it too far? Who does something drastic like this?’ I looked at him. I wanted my fury ridden gaze to reach him and cause him discomfort.

Then Taapsee’s final monologue happened. I had gulps in my throat and tears at the corner of my eyes. I knew something silly was going to come from my neighbor. Comic friends have taught me about the rule of three. Instead, aunty in a solemn tone said ‘she is also right, you know?’. Uncle did not dare say a thing.

It dawned on me that I was able to relate with the writing, the female gaze, the overall movie because it resonated with how I think. As a woman having unlearned* a lot of things, I felt what Taapsee was feeling. The couple was coming from a place of different conditioning, (deep?) ignorance and ingrained patriarchy like most of us. By the end of the story being shown on screen, they had not magically converted to evolved humans (like most of us fail day in, day out). Instead, they were able to see where Taapsee’s character was coming from. Why her feelings were valid. And why this drawn-out conversation about a slap mattered. As someone who has found engaging with people of opposing views taxing, this experience opened my eyes. Great stories can reach places and people where most generic, black, and white rhetoric cannot. They can compel one to think and at least have a conversation. I saw this in front of me (well, sideways) when the couple traversed their own journey.

Stories are magic. And I want to live in a world where more storytellers emerge who want to share stories through their own unique gaze.

*As someone who has seen herself as an individual before a girl/woman/female, a lot of things shown in the film are obvious to me. I learned to look at the world through a gendered lens as well, way into my adult life. That’s what I mean when I say I have unlearned and re-learned a lot of ideas.

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