Mean Machine

There are some people in the world, who always manage to say the meanest possible thing to you. No matter what!

And I wonder, what happens to me, when the time comes to get even with them ? No, No, no ""Holier than thou" syndrome here! It's just that I somehow cant remember (what the mean thing they said to me in the past) or in worst cases articulate myself at the given moment. And when the moment is lost, I come up with all sorts of witty, sometimes subtle but mean repartees. Of course inside the privacy of my very own slow head!

Is there some Mean pensive, which you can keep handy ? So that as soon as, said person in question, starts chatting with you, it cross-references all its memories and churns up the precise, exact ones, so that you dont end up feeling like a loser ?

~nightflier