On domestic violence
Recently while reading Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy which was based around crimes of domestic violence, physical and mental abuse I was quite inspired to write about the whole issue. Thinking that I would spoil the plot for potential readers I did not go ahead. But after reading Neha's article I am more than inspired to write. I would definitely be referencing to the book, but would try to be indirect and subtle.
Violence as a means of self defense is the only way I can justify it. In any other form its outright evil and cruel. And the trend of violence exists in every society. It has got nothing to do with 'oh we are old fashioned in India and hence its an Indian thing'. Good and bad examples exist in every society. Its the psychology behind such acts that needs to be studied and tackled.
The person committing the abhorring acts of hitting, torturing, sexually abusing another person is misguided by the sense of control which they need to display. I think these acts of controlling others, displaying dominance are attitude problems. Its a disease. And as every disease, it needs diagnosis and medicine. The only diagnosis I can think of is the victims stop being victimized. If the victims start retaliating or start giving subtle hints in extreme cases, then help can be sought. The day a person who is being victimized for such acts asks the question 'WHY ?' the day half the problem is solved. Because with that why comes a revelation that its unjust to tolerate such appalling things. According to me it applies to physical acts of violation to mental harassments like abusive relationships. I really dont understand when people start blaming situations and dont want to get out of bad relationships. My logical brain says if one of the 2 persons in the relationship is not getting respect then its time to get it done with. Though I would admit that things aren't so simple in reality. I myself know a few friends who are in bad relationships. One could get out of it with substantial emotional hurt but the other could not.
This is where Lisbeth Salander comes into picture. Despite having the physique of a teenager, she gets around bad, abusive relationships using her intelligence and skills. In her book there is no mercy for hideous crimes. If you are exploiting someone's vulnerability she makes sure you get punished. No she wont break the law or she wont kill you or she wont even do some superheroish stunt. She would simply put you in a trying situation where you would remember all the gods you prayed to (dadi-nani yaad dilana types). When everyone else in the system fails to act, she takes care of stuff in her own style. I know all this makes me sound like a childish hero worshiper, but the point I am trying to make is most of the times we underestimate ourselves. Sometimes even a loud whimper can mend ways for the abuser and the abused. The courage needs to be summed up.
A huge salute to the Lisbeth Salander's amongst us. And a pat on the back to the ones who are suffering and don't find the courage to retaliate. I am damn sure one day you guys would find it!
~nightflier