on angels (no demons)

On such  days you wonder why people who are having it so easy, crib ?
Of course, it looks easier as an outsider. It always will. God only knows if its really any easy for them or not.
Or may be whats your difficult may be their very very tough, can’t handle scenario. May be their difficult then just as easy for you.


And that’s why you have friends (shrinks), boy/girl friends, husbands/wives, parents, siblings, who would judge you and still bear you.
I am glad I have my fair share of people, in front of whom I can be this vulnerable, wet sob (which usually I am not, unless you provoke me), who would grimace on the inside, but at the same time pat me and tell me how strong I am. Yes conflicting emotions, but totally permitted given the circumstances. ;)


I always think that you are given or you receive your fair share of ‘situations’ depending on how much you can stretch yourself. Once your tensile strength has been tested the body and mind go into auto heal (this is my most visited shrink’s terminology) and you don’t reach break point again. Unless you are sinisterly self destructive.


Also, I and kt have a theory that you in difficult (hard, messy) times (of course this is a very self restricted perspective. Outsiders might as well see you on seventh heaven) will always receive/get/meet an angel. The angel is a metaphor for the thing which you somehow knowingly or unknowingly desperately (or without so) need at that point. Oh and the word angel, cos we are filmy, melodramatic and in general fairytale-ish when not required. The angel can be anything, a person (easier to believe or hope for but most difficult to separate from the crowds), a book, a movie, an idea, a thought, a song, a sport, just about anything. An adage to this is you understand some thing when its time for you to understand. Till then its either jargon or BS :D


I have made books and movies my angels, on a permanent basis. To borrow ideas and get inspired out of the blue. People these days have become too self seeking, to rely on (I am a realist in the making :P). Though I would love to alter my notions and experience any angelic behavior. Take the cue ;)
Also, this weird theory makes me grope for inspiration (like a self fulfilling prophecy) when things are not looking so bright or something seems wrong or out of place and memory. This is the Calvin in me. The hobbes well, he pretends to hold me back when I don't pretend to fall. or does he ? ;)


~nightflier


P.S. Thoughts at the desk have started flowing smoothly. I knew I was a space seeking person, desk-space seeking would do to. Because the study table at home (it's from my grandfather's era! YAY!) is where I conjured most of my childhood notions about the world in general.

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it must matter, no ?