Introspection
I read Pico Iyer's column which a friend forwarded and suddenly went into the introspective mode. The article and my findings are totally unrelated which is co-incidental.
(link here - http://www.deccanchronicle.com/editorial/op-ed/joy-quiet-659)
My findings filed in the report below (wow so *work-like*)
* The better part of my life till now has been about existential crisis. From realizing everyone goes through it at least once (if you haven't you are so awesome!) to knowing its ok to feel so to finally accepting it. That accounts for the 'being restless' part. And no it does not drive me crazy. But it does make most of the things around seem pointless. And hence I feel its quite amazing how I still find joy in some things I do. There must be a purpose to everything after all. Hmm.
* I like chatting/talking/having conversations with the same people more than I like meeting new people. Of course, I do like all the interesting stories new people have got to share and expand my horizons, but its the 'same people' in my life who keep me going. Having said that, I have to thank the internet for bringing me closer to people I might have never interacted with. You see, I *always* make space for people whom I genuinely like ;)
* Being genuine at what I say, what I do, what I feel, is slowly becoming the core of my existence. And I do receive a lot of brickbats for this. Because most of the times, I don't have any comment or reaction and then people say I have stopped caring! Which is mostly true for things which do not matter. One of them being why I need to *have coffee* or *meet* some people when I don't feel like it! (May be I do not see the point in it.) And having said this, I know I have to fulfill my grown up responsibilities. Which I do manage once in a while ;)
Occasional rants on the blog or to friends, make me rationalize this even further. It makes my stand about, living life to fulfill your own pointless purpose is above what people say or think about you, stronger. Specially not fake stupid expectations of people.
* I used to think till last year, that a balance between things would make life simpler. Trying to live the moment, of joy, happiness, despair, turmoil, doubt or satisfaction, comes closest to it. At least if one tries to do that with least expectation. Letting go is the simplest thing life has to offer. If not the most valued. Of course I think so.
* Getting immersed in a book and being conflicted, is the closest I have felt to being at peace. There was a phase when *doing nothing* was that thing. But you know how our worldly needs are :P
Also if I could, I would totally be a home-maker and be cool about it. Or totally move on to the himalayas and be literally cool with it.
* And as I recently pointed out to a friend, self preservation is a good way to live life. In a nonchalant way. Of course I also pointed out to him, I am not sure *why* but may be one day I would find it out. :D
* I love problem solving and challenges. A friend thinks I am nuts. But I just cannot not do anything if I see a problem and can do something about it. Sigh.
* and last-ly denying myself, the need to be me, is the most hopeless thing I have done to myself recently. But such things make you realize how much you need to be you. so #win
-nightflier
P.S. somehow, first week of new year being all about introspection gives one a happy feeling :D
(link here - http://www.deccanchronicle.com/editorial/op-ed/joy-quiet-659)
My findings filed in the report below (wow so *work-like*)
* The better part of my life till now has been about existential crisis. From realizing everyone goes through it at least once (if you haven't you are so awesome!) to knowing its ok to feel so to finally accepting it. That accounts for the 'being restless' part. And no it does not drive me crazy. But it does make most of the things around seem pointless. And hence I feel its quite amazing how I still find joy in some things I do. There must be a purpose to everything after all. Hmm.
* I like chatting/talking/having conversations with the same people more than I like meeting new people. Of course, I do like all the interesting stories new people have got to share and expand my horizons, but its the 'same people' in my life who keep me going. Having said that, I have to thank the internet for bringing me closer to people I might have never interacted with. You see, I *always* make space for people whom I genuinely like ;)
* Being genuine at what I say, what I do, what I feel, is slowly becoming the core of my existence. And I do receive a lot of brickbats for this. Because most of the times, I don't have any comment or reaction and then people say I have stopped caring! Which is mostly true for things which do not matter. One of them being why I need to *have coffee* or *meet* some people when I don't feel like it! (May be I do not see the point in it.) And having said this, I know I have to fulfill my grown up responsibilities. Which I do manage once in a while ;)
Occasional rants on the blog or to friends, make me rationalize this even further. It makes my stand about, living life to fulfill your own pointless purpose is above what people say or think about you, stronger. Specially not fake stupid expectations of people.
* I used to think till last year, that a balance between things would make life simpler. Trying to live the moment, of joy, happiness, despair, turmoil, doubt or satisfaction, comes closest to it. At least if one tries to do that with least expectation. Letting go is the simplest thing life has to offer. If not the most valued. Of course I think so.
* Getting immersed in a book and being conflicted, is the closest I have felt to being at peace. There was a phase when *doing nothing* was that thing. But you know how our worldly needs are :P
Also if I could, I would totally be a home-maker and be cool about it. Or totally move on to the himalayas and be literally cool with it.
* And as I recently pointed out to a friend, self preservation is a good way to live life. In a nonchalant way. Of course I also pointed out to him, I am not sure *why* but may be one day I would find it out. :D
* I love problem solving and challenges. A friend thinks I am nuts. But I just cannot not do anything if I see a problem and can do something about it. Sigh.
* and last-ly denying myself, the need to be me, is the most hopeless thing I have done to myself recently. But such things make you realize how much you need to be you. so #win
-nightflier
P.S. somehow, first week of new year being all about introspection gives one a happy feeling :D