SCMM 2016 - Full Marathon

My foolhardiness knows no bounds. Its always been like this. In school, I used to take up extra work, assignments because I loved studying. I would solve all types of extra problem books, study materials because I loved the challenge. As a runner, after having run 4 half marathons, I knew the drill of training and preparing. I also understood goal setting much better. Never been a believer of speed running or wanting to be one, becoming faster was not my goal. Here I agreed completely with my coaches at Running Potential, when they said, 'Let the speed come to you.' Around June, when SCMM registration discussions were in the air, I started toying with the idea of running a full marathon. A part of me was bored with the same structure of a HM training and wanted to run longer distances. I should also make it clear here that I had no bucket list goals such as, 'I wanted to run a full marathon before this and this age'. So, when the registration finally opened, I did it! When I told my coach at RP, the only reaction he gave me was 'Now on you have to treat every half marathon you run as a long run. There will be no races.' (Delhi was to be my race, how it went which you must know. So with these facts established my training started.)My weekly volume gradually increased to 40-50 km. Initially it was too much to keep up with. The work travels added to the stress. Around August-Sept I got into a good rhythm and finally got accustomed to the schedule. By this time my overall running form had improved to a point, where I could do split after split at a given pace (in the 6.30 - 6.50 mins/km range). I also learned the art of running at slower paces with same effort and cadence. And for this I highly recommend training with experienced coaches. My 'gurujis' are the best thing that has happened to my running. It has taken me 3 years to inculcate and realize most of the advice and words of wisdom they have had for me. I am far from a great student when it comes to running. But I shall get there eventually. *touches wood and all sorts of objects nearby*Post the ADHM performance, I was really doubtful about my chances of faring well at SCMM in January. My last long run was in last week of December. Like every foolish optimist I told myself, if that run went well, you are going to SCMM. Fortunately or unfortunately the run went well. I ran 42 km on a weekend (14/28 - split between Saturday and Sunday). I recovered in a day as well. And the stage was set. I was going to run the full marathon! I then did my hotel reservations, started spending time studying the race route, coming up with strategies, and focusing on the last phase of pre-race nutrition.The nutrition strategy shared by running potential helped here as well!I was a bag full of nerves by the time the race week started. On the weekend of the race I reached the bib collection expo with my brother (he was going to run the half) collected the bib, headed for lunch and then reached my hotel.  Of course there were surprises in store. Oyorooms, from where I had booked the hotel, had relocated me to a different, farther hotel, without even asking/confirming. I was furious at them. So I left the hotel deciding to stay with my brother instead. I let this episode go without giving it much energy. On the way to Dadar, where I was going to stay, I reminded myself to buy bananas for race day. I forgot, and then in the entire nearby area we did not get bananas. I wanted to let this go but was not able to. 'A lot of things can go wrong on your race day', I had read somewhere. For me it had started a day before. Who would have thunk ? After a light meal of idli sambhar, I called it a day and went to sleep at 9 PM with all race day prep completed. D-day started with a phone call from a slightly tipsy friend in a different timezone who told me to 'do anything but dont stop'. I wanted to be at the start point as fast as I could, so I said yes to whatever she told me. I got ready with a light meal of 4 marie biscuits, 3 almonds and water. I tucked in the 6 gel packs, made sure my phone was fully charged and gave the pacing plan provided by RP a last glance in the car. I have no idea where I got down from the car, but the start point was almost a kilometer away from there. So I walked to Azad Maidan blindly following other runners. Visited the loo 20 minutes before the race as usual and lined up in the assembly area.The mood at the Full Marathon starting point was somber. I guess every runner was in a zone and trying to conserve energy and not indulge. I loved the calm. The race started at exact 5.40 am. There was rush at the start but as advised in my pacing plan I stuck to the right side of the road and trudged on at a slow speed. I think I started in the 7-8 mins/km zone. I maintained the innermost line at the two U-turns and picked speed once I hit Marine Drive. Mumbai temperature and air felt really pleasant to be running by the sea. I started drinking water around 2-3 km. And started eating the gel pack at 30 mins, only to gulp one bite of the gel every 15 mins. I also picked up enerzal as and when they were offered. Upto 15 km I was going at a steady rhythm with split after split of 6 mins 42-46 sec. After 10 km, I also started spotting the half marathoners running from the other direction and hence decided to stay on the right side of the road to cheer for known faces (get some energy more like). We hit the majestic Worli Sea link at 14-15 km and my brain could not register the gradual uphill. I tried to soak in the breeze, washed my face at the water station and continued running. I completed 21.1 km in 2hrs 24 mins (1 min less than my pacing plan). I was told to run the first half conservatively and I was happy that I had not gone overboard. I started re-assessing my goals and decided to stick behind an energetic and talkative 5 hour bus pacer. Lesson 1 learnt - While running a distance of 42.195 km you need all sorts of positive energy.  Get it from wherever possible. I took ice from a station near 23-24 km and rubbed it on my neck, splashed some water on my head and face and kept running with the group. Around 26 km the elite runners pack passed us. Oh what a sight for sore legs that was! Pumped we all continued with good spirit. I walked a few paces around 29 km, as I needed to tear a gel and eat it. The bus went slightly ahead of me here. I walked few more paces with a fellow runner who looked tired and needed motivation, gave him a gel pack and started running again. By this time, the sun was up, but thankfully it was not that hot. I could still see the bus and keeping the goal of catching it, I kept running. It was 32km, and I still had not caught up with them. So frustrated with myself I took a walking break. My brain was not working a lot. I spotted the RP group cheering for me on the left side and deriving some energy out of them, I started running again. I ran well upto the 34 km marker and then started walking on the pedder road climb. I did try running here, but there was not much convincing my brain and I let it go. My brain had completely tossed away the pacing plan, and it was now convincing me to give up. The urge to give up became stronger around 38 km marker. Lesson 2 learnt - 'The mind is an excellent servant but a terrible master' Always always always remember this.On the verge of tears, there was now a raging battle inside me. A part of my brain was telling my body to stop and sit down in shade. A part of it wanted to cry and bawl like a child and ask someone to pick me up and take me to finish line. A part of me was trying against these 2 beasts to keep moving. A part reminded me what the friend had told me earlier in the day. I then implemented this weird strategy, of running 60 paces and walking 60 paces. At times running 200 paces and walking 120 paces. Yes I was counting in my head. I was rid of all the positive energy inside me. When the final left turn arrived, a lady cheered me saying, 'you are almost there' and I snarkily replied 'Lets hope so'. Sorry well meaning lady. If you read this please know that it was not the real me.Lesson 3 learnt - When anyone says they beat the odds to achieve something, remember the odds are always the voices in your head. You just need one tiny voice of courage and follow it. I started hating every marker placed after 1000 meters. Still controlling tears, I started properly running without any mind-games around 300 meters from finish line and completed the race. If you see my finish video there is no gladness or hurrah on my face or in my body language. I could not believe 42 km was such a long distance. I wanted to complain to someone 'do you know what just happened? This distance was never ending' I felt completely exposed and vulnerable during these last 4 kms. I met P near the recovery tents, where she was patiently waiting for me for 2 hours! Seeing her familiar face brought back those tears I was hard fighting to keep hidden.Everyone had been congratulating and messaging on facebook after she put up a picture, but it took me a lot of time to wrap my head around the torture my own brain made me go through.Now after almost a day post the race, while typing this, I realize how fortunate I was to not get injured while running. Or not bonk. I have only my coaches at running potential to thank for this fantastic achievement. Of course my legs are sore and I am feeling tired. But I am ok with that feeling. btw those asking (and not asking openly and wondering) I completed the race in 5 hours 13 minutes and 11 seconds. I do not know what my next race will be or plan is. But I had decided to take a break from running races for some time and I intend to do so.