When breath becomes air by Paul Kalanithi

I have always thought good doctors are not humans. I mean they are these weird, different, responsible (I know gross generalization) species who do what they do because they have issues. Good issues like they want to help, comfort people and humanity. And bad issues like they don't want a normal life and don't mind working inhuman hours. In short, I have always kept doctors on a pedestal. Every time I have had to visit a doctor I would shrug all responsibility for my well-being and be a robot to do as directed by this species.And then I read Paul Kalanithi's moving and heartbreaking 'When breath becomes air'.  It made me realize that these special, weird, different species are very much human. It's a memoir Paul wrote during last days of his special and precious life. A neurosurgeon and scientist who battled cancer and his own drive and desire to understand death as a doctor, at the age of 36.Throughout the book, Paul grapples various themes of passion, commitment, life, death, neurosurgery, being a doctor, caregiver, patient, partner/husband, survivor, in his characteristic philosophical style. He quotes poets and philosophers throughout the book giving a peek inside his thinking mind. In his weakest moments, as a doctor and patient, he comes across as vulnerable as anyone imaginable. There is no false bravado, no pretense. Even in the face of death, he was as driven as he was before the prognosis. Trying to accept the loss that his career and future have become and accept the certainty that the impending death is. (As a neurosurgeon, he always wondered about death as a certainty. As a cancer patient, he tried to find those answers).Such a loss that he passed away while writing the book. I cannot imagine how much more he had to share. The last chapter by his wife broke my heart. In her bits of writing, I felt like I knew this person. And now he is no more.I can only barely imagine what people and their families suffering from terminal illnesses must be going through. But this book has taught me much more beyond just sharing a perspective. It can take a toll on you (not because it features death, but it will make you question being alive), so recommend only if you are in that mind-space.