The big sister

Older siblings are kind, gentle and giving. By default.Younger might be many other things. But today is not about them.P gives, gives and gives. Even today when (in my head, I knew that we will not be able to see and check on each other for the longest time. And it was beginning to show) we went shopping for her, she made me get things for myself.She knows how to make others feel ok through her generosity. Her constant care. Others might not admit, but they do end up feeling better than they wanted to.At times I would scoff at her and tell her to not be so kind to the undeserving. And then I reluctantly accepted that the world needs more kindness at any given point anyway.My enduring memory of our shared times remains the evening spent sitting atop an old fort and talking about our understanding of the world. I had felt an immense gratitude for being able to share time and space with her then. Because forming a real connection and being able to share it is no less than magic. P is magical.We are both the proverbial 'youngest' ones at homes. I also had a theory where I could never get along with anyone who is the youngest at home. Because who wants to see a mirror on a regular basis! But I had always wanted a big sister. The cosmos got me one. Only thankful that my stupid theories get broken.You are not crying. I am crying.