What's in a name?
Is your name-game strong? Are you a name-purist who can remember and pronounce the names of other people as they expect? (I can't. But I have a good memory so I can usually figure out names of acquaintances I forget after a few minutes in a conversation).
Anywho, a few weeks ago I ran a 10K race and a fellow runner (who knows me and has run with me) was cheering for me near the finish line, shouting a wrong name. (To be fair for some reason, he thinks that's my name, despite having shared my real name - cue blog link). I saw an opportunity for a running joke here and tweeted the following, resulting in a lot of interactions.
When is the right time to tell someone cheering for you shouting a wrong name what your real name is, during a running race?
P.S. the real name is printed in caps, bold on the running bib. #runningHumor— Y (@yaymini) July 21, 2019
This conversation particularly made me think.
Good question. Depends on the situation I guess
— ৫ (@bhalomanush) July 22, 2019
Now this person had called me 'Sayali' (सायली) a common Marathi name. To be honest, I have never felt like a Sayali. In my head, Sayalis are pristine, delicate like the flowers they represent. I may look like one, but I can assure you that I am not one.
So when posed with the answer in the above tweet response, I started thinking, do I even feel like my real name? Do I belong to that name or does it belong to me?
Especially when I am running, I feel like my pet name a lot (its an Indian thing, I have a different name which close family and friends call me by). I feel free, open, carefree and immensely loved when anyone calls me by that name. All of these things running does for me.
I often feel like an Ofelia (hence wanted to name my daughter that. Also it's out in the open now!) in the real world. Because we are constantly in each other's ways. Not in a good or bad way. Like I never understood how to behave as an adult as the world expects me to. I would rather behave as an adult as I feel is appropriate.
As for the name given to me by my parents for official purposes, I feel like I belong to it most times. I feel like a Yamini, especially at work. Dark. Mysterious. Is a reason for dreams or nightmares, depending on your deeds.
Wonder how a simple thought about 'name' is bringing out the self-obsessed person in me? Maybe that's why we could have many names and identities and never be obsessed with the self. Makes sense to me! Except Sayali. That will not make sense to me.