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this birthday’s advance wish

‘I need to be happy. I need to be secure. On my own.’

I don’t compare my life with anyone’s. Truth. I am human. Truth. But when I am deeply dissatisfied by/with some things (which I directly cannot change) around it happens automatically. A creepy feeling sits inside my head. And then I dread even getting out of bed. Like this Wednesday. I acted like a 6 year old who feigns illness to avoid school and stayed home. For no reason. I did some outdoor work just to let some fresh air inside my otherwise sodden head. The restlessness just did not go away. It remained. Some inventions in the kitchen helped. Staying away from the laptop and internet helped. 

So may be going ahead, I should wish to get rid of such Wednesdays. Initially may be just learn to avoid gracefully ? And for that ‘I need to be happy. I need to be secure. On my own.’

An ok wish. You think ?

~nightflier

P.S. There was a slight chill in the air today. Also I wore socks to work today. Winter is coming. 🙂

Yamini

6 responses to “this birthday’s advance wish”

  1. nightflier Avatar
    nightflier

    Lately was happening to me a lot. And then I remembered a steve jobs quote, where he said you should stop and re assess the situation before getting drowned into it (the gist). those last 3 words need the best out of me sometimes. too much pressure 😀

    Reply
  2. Upasna Avatar
    Upasna

    I remember such days. Sometimes they come through in quick succession. I hate that the most. And yeah, I wonder a lot about the last three words.

    Reply
  3. nightflier Avatar
    nightflier

    neha – hehe. true 🙂 and thanks for those hugs! but my comparisons are over the moment I realized how awesome I am 😉

    ketaki – I wont judge you, cos I have watched that show too 😉 yes it surely is! but then it had to dawn on you, otherwise just some jargon 😀

    Reply
  4. Ketaki... Avatar
    Ketaki…

    Yeah I had heard this 'advice' (if you can call it so) from a very unusual source (It was Simi Garewal's show with Deepika I guess. On a completely diff note, I hate that show).
    Anyways, I loved it when I heard it. It made so much sense.
    One of the epiphanies of life.. 🙂

    Reply
  5. neha Avatar
    neha

    aww..hugs nf! Its ok to get these occasional pangs.. As long as comparison does not become a norm in life, it is fine, to compare once in a while 🙂
    And I love the "on my own" part in the wish. SO very important. Without this part, the rest of the sentence/wish has no meaning, actually.

    Reply
  6. neha Avatar
    neha

    oki..i just finished crying buckets over something which strangely reminded me of this post… i re-read it and it "exactly" describes my current state of mind. 🙁

    Reply

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