Feeling seen

A had a very heartfelt, touching, and wholesome conversation with the cleaning guy at the Airbnb she stayed at.

When he visited the first time, she was busy talking with family so she did not pay much attention. Then he was gone the next day, due to some exam. On the third day when he showed up for cleaning, A asked him how his exam was.

CG - It was ok.

A - What exam was it?

CG - I am preparing for UPSC.

A - oh, so what do you need to study?

CG taken aback at this genuine interest in his exam, answered in detail in English and Hindi. He also told her, this was the first time someone had shown any curiosity in his life. A told him, that his exam seemed important so she just did something anyone would have. Feeling a little confident, he told her about his life. This 21-22-year-old choreographer from a small town had fallen into harsh times due to family circumstances. He had to move away from his small town being the only earning member of the family now. He had taken up this cleaning job to support his studies and family. He was ashamed of this cleaning job.

A herself, had had her share of working odd jobs to sustain herself as an artist before she could break out of the cycle and could very well relate to it. With utmost gentleness, she told him she had once worked at a restaurant. How much hard work that job was and how she had cleaned messy places. She also added that she got paid more for that job than him, as this was outside India.

He agreed with this. He had to clean 11 homes in a day on some days. This would also require traveling to different neighborhoods situated hours apart. The pay did not match for this work! And how some people complained about the quality of his work! He added ‘Didi, to tell the truth, my job is harder.’ To which A said, ‘of course, I agree. It’s a hard job’.

At this, the waterworks broke down. A also started crying seeing him cry.

Once the moment was over, CG asked A what she did for a living now. She told him that she was a comedian and a performer. What she always wanted to be. Despite all those odd jobs. Because of all those odd jobs, that dream always thrived. And because of the privilege of being outside India, she was able to get to it with a certain dignity, without shame.

When A told me this story, I was so moved.

I remembered this conversation with a colleague many years ago, how work is just work. Humans attach unnecessary (at times) value and status to it.

I also thought about A dada, who had made me feel seen at a very stressful time in life. Reminding me that the outcome of any exam was not going to take away how unique I am. The 15-year-old me is grateful for that conversation.

And I hope this wholesome conversation with A is CG’s north star as he navigates the tough life that’s laid out for him. I hope he’s able to fuel his hope to be a choreographer. Some day.